New Yorkers - SKIMM in New York - March 02 2016

Skimm for March 2nd

Skimm’d with sliders and politics

QUOTE OF THE DAY “See you down below!” - Astronaut Scott Kelly, tweeting from space to his fellow Earthlings. Last night, he came back to his home planet after spending almost a year eating space food. Zetus Lapetus. SKIMM THIS

SUPER TROOPERS

THE STORY Yesterday, about a quarter of US voters did a polls dance. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Super Tuesday. The biggest day of the primary season. Just call it Miss Cleo, since it plays an important role in predicting each party’s nominee. WHO HAD A GOOD NIGHT? Donald Trump and former Sec. of State Hillary Clinton. Both won big down South (think: AL, AR, TN, VA, GA). Trump also took MA and VT, while Hillz also scooped up MA, TX and American Samoa. Sen. Ted Cruz (TX) used his hometown advantage to turn Trump into Texas toast - and pulled off wins in OK and AK for good measure. WHO DID NOT? Sen. Marco Rubio (FL). He managed to pick up his first primary victory in MN, and was really hoping to also check off VA, but got Trumped. Rubio did manage to win big in the VA counties outside Washington, DC. Cough, establishment, cough. Sen. Bernie Sanders (VT) brought VT, MN, CO, and OK into his corner. Meanwhile, Gov. John Kasich (OH) won zero states, but that’s because Super Tuesday wasn’t in his “game plan.” Dr. Ben Carson pulled a big fat nada too. ANYTHING ELSE? There’s also a super sideshow going on. Earlier this week, Donald Trump seemed to avoid flat-out rejecting the support of David Duke before later disavowing him. That would be the former leader of the KKK. And House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) is not having it. Yesterday, he said any person who wants to be the GOP nominee must “reject any group or cause that is built on bigotry.” Mic drop. theSKIMM Last night, many candidates took their victory - and ‘victory’ - laps from Florida. Hint: that’s the next big primary along with OH and NC, coming up later this month. SKIMM THIS

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT… The ghost of Osama bin Laden. Yesterday, the al-Qaeda leader’s handwritten will was released  along with more than 100 other docs seized during the 2011 raid that killed him. The takeaways? Bin Laden was paranoid, and thought his wife’s tooth had a tracking device planted in it “about the length of a grain of wheat and the width of a fine piece of vermicelli.” Theory: he was not gluten-free. He was also not poor, and claims he had about $29 million - most of which he wanted used on jihad. Money wasn’t the only kind of green on his mind. Instead of waging a ‘war against Islam,’ bin Laden felt strongly that the US should focus on fighting climate change. Bin Laden and Oscars acceptance speeches apparently have something in common. SKIMM THIS

WHAT TO SAY IF YOU STILL HAVEN’T SEEN “SPOTLIGHT”… Best Picture, tough topic. Yesterday, a grand jury report revealed that two Roman Catholic bishops helped cover up sexual abuse in central Pennsylvania. By more than 50 priests. Over four decades. Affecting hundreds of children. Ugh, ugh, ugh. And no criminal charges have been filed because some of the accused have died, or the statute of limitations has run out. A search warrant helped dig up this info from a secret archive.  Ever since the 2002 Boston Globe investigation that “Spotlight” is based on, there’s been even more of a, yes, spotlight, on sexual abuse in the church. And this week, the Vatican newspaper praised the movie for confronting “horrendous realities.”

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND CONVINCES YOU TO TAKE A KICKBOXING CLASS… Hit me with your best shot. Just not if you’re an Ivy League football player. Coaches in the League voted to ban tackling  during regular season practices. The goal? Reduce concussions and injuries. The NFL - and football programs across the country - have been under fire recently for a rise in the number of players getting concussions that can lead to long-term damage. So it looks like the Ivy League decided to use their really big brains and make some changes. It may put pressure on other football leagues to update their policies, too. Speaking of policies in professional sports, Yankees pitcher Aroldis Chapman  will be the first baseball player punished under the MLB’s new domestic violence policy. Yesterday, Chapman was suspended for 30 games for a domestic dispute he was involved in last year. And he’s not going to appeal. One strike, you’re out. SKIMM THIS

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO WANTS BEYONCE TO PERFORM AT HER BDAY PARTY… You can’t always get what you want. Unless you want a free Rolling Stones concert in Cuba. SKIMM THIS

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU WANT TO SLIME YOUR CO-WORKER… Insert Nickelodeon fix here.  SKIMM THIS

THING TO KNOW QA: That term your co-worker used in a team meeting. It stands for quality assurance, or ways to make sure your product doesn’t suck. Think: a startup testing its website before it goes live, a restaurant testing its ingredients before you eat them. SKIMM THIS

SKIMM GIFT We want you to snow what’s up with a trip to Whistler. Three nights, flights, ski rentals, lift tickets, and a spa package for apres-ski. Get into it.

SKIMM SHARE Thanks to Kristen Agura Knight (Dallas, TX), Katelyn Lane (Birmingham, AL),Kristina Bockhold (Houston, TX) for getting your share on yesterday. You each get $100 to Starbucks. Jealous? Share here.

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